Laughing Gas: Tony's Worst Enemy
by stark18
Summary: After forty years, Tony is forced to undergo surgery to get his wisdom teeth out. The rest of the team and Pepper are there for 'emotional support,' definitely not to see the effects of the laughing gas. Not. At. All.


"Tony… please stop whining, you've obviously held this off for far too long," Pepper sighed as she watched her boyfriend pouting on the couch, with his arms crossed and bottom lip stuck out.

"Pepper, how many times do I have to tell you that I won't go. They haven't been an issue lately, and besides, when they are I can handle it. I mean, I've been living with the arc reactor, so I can handle pain!" Tony slumped and stared at the ceiling, making it absolutely obvious that he was not going to move anytime soon.

"You know what, fine. But if hear any complaining, I will drag you by the ears…"

Tony smirked, knowing at that moment, he won this battle. But, the voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him that he won't be able to handle the migraines and pain that wisdom teeth caused. He knew he should've gotten them out as soon as they started to grow in, which was about six months ago (there was no indication of him having any in his youth, but to his surprise the little suckers just popped out of nowhere in his early forties, because why not?). During those six months, he experienced migraines that would only disappear if he slept, which did not fit in Tony's schedule anywhere. So, he just suffered through them, and made everyone aware of how much pain he was enduring.

Pepper left the living room and Tony heard the shower go on. He was debating whether or not he should join her, but decided against it knowing she was not in the mood. He made his way to the bedroom and threw on his pajamas and crawled under the covers. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he tried desperately to fall asleep, hoping that the migraine that gradually intensified throughout the day disappeared so he could have a few painless hours.

The Avengers were debating whether to drag him to the oral surgeons themselves. They've been suffering as much as Tony, having to deal with his countless rants about his teeth and how much pain he is in. Yeah, they felt bad for the guy, but he was starting to get on their nerves.

The team gathered in the communal kitchen on Tony's floor the next morning. Steve had just returned from his morning run and was eating his breakfast when everyone started to file in one-by-one.

Bruce was still in his lab coat when he stumbled in, presumably pulling an all-nighter performing experiments. On what? No one even bothered to ask, knowing that whatever explanation the scientist said wouldn't make any sense unless they were Stark. He grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee, and gulped it down almost as fast as Tony drinks his. He put bread in the toaster and waited for it to finish in awkward silence.

Clint was the next one to enter the kitchen. As always, his hyperness was a little too much for anyone to handle in the morning, and he beelined directly to the fridge. He grabbed the milk and then grabbed the Lucky Charms from the cabinet. He poured the milk and cereal in a bowl and started picking out the marshmallows. Natasha and Thor both walked in at the same time, coming back from the training room.

The assassin and Asgardian both grabbed water bottles from the fridge. "You, Spider Lady, are never to be messed with! It was a glorious victory for you this morning, but the next time we spar, you will not prevail," Natasha rolled her eyes and could only shake her head, recalling how she withered the god down to tears on the mat.

"So I'm assuming that Natasha kicked your ass… again," Clint stifled a chuckle, and watched as Thor pouted while he unwrapped a poptart. Steve gave out a low laugh as he imagined Natasha bringing down someone five times her size, knowing from previous experience when she was able to bring him down.

Just as Thor was about to protest, a groaning and unhappy Tony Stark came strolling into the kitchen. While munching on his toast, Bruce watched as Tony sat down and laid his head on the table with an audible thump. When no one was giving the genius any attention, he threw his head down against the table once again. Everyone looked at him as he groaned, obviously wanting someone to ask what was wrong.

When no one dared to say anything, Stark just groaned louder and louder until someone had to say something, and that someone was Steve. "So, Tony. How are you doing?" Everyone mentally prepared themselves for what they were about to hear, knowing exactly what was going to be said.

"Well, I appreciate someone voicing their concern…" He glared at everyone and immediately got up and got an ice pack from the freezer. He placed the ice pack on the table and laid his cheek on it. He groaned once again. "My teeth hurt like a bitch…" Everyone rolled their eyes. They tried to convince him to go to the surgeon on multiple occasions after finding out about them. They knew that Stark was stubborn, and that if he didn't want to do something, he wouldn't. Unfortunately for them, going to the dentist was one of those things that he refused to do.

"You know what would help? Going. To. The. Dentist." Bruce had to hear Tony's complaints the most because of the amount of time they spent in the lab together. Tony sat up and glared at Bruce, "No."

"I don't know what to tell you then, either suck it up and stop complaining or get it fixed."

"But it hurts Bruce! Of course I'm gonna complain. Clint complains about everything too, but I don't hear you yelling at him!" Clint looked at Tony, his expression unimpressed.

"We don't yell at Clint because he gets help, unlike yourself. Y'know Stark, I'm starting to believe you're avoiding the dentist because... well, nevermind actually," Natasha started and a small smile crept onto her face.

"Because what? Nat…" Tony was glaring at Natasha now, puffing out his chest to make himself look more intimidating.

"Are you… scared Stark? Are you a lil chicken scared of the dentist? It's ok, I get it now. You don't have to go…" Natasha pursed her lips and her eyes screamed mischief. Everyone else looked down at their hands with small smiles forming, ready for Tony's reaction.

"How- How dare you?! I flew a fucking nuke through a portal into space! A little visit to the dentist is NOT scary," Tony's face was red, and no one knew whether it was because of anger or embarrassment, but it was probably the latter.

"I don't know Stark, you're getting a little twitchy. Guys, we should talk about something else, I think we're scaring him," Clint looked at everyone, who were all nodding in agreement.

"I hate you all," Stark got up from his spot at the table and was halfway through the door until he saw Pepper coming towards him from the living room. He immediately turned around to go through the other exit but was too slow. The Captain was blocking the exit, and when Tony tried to move around him, Steve put his hands on the smaller man's shoulders and turned him around to face Pepper.

"Heeyy Pepper, what are you doing?"

Pepper's heels clicked against the tile floor as she made her way over to Tony. "I've cleared up your schedule for the next week, and I got you an appointment for tomorrow." Just as he was about to protest, she put her finger to his lips, shutting him up.

"Nope. No no no nope. You are done arguing with me about this. You are getting them out tomorrow. You are annoying the shit out of everyone, and it's about damn time you man up. Period."

She turned abruptly on her heels and clicked out of the kitchen, leaving her surprised boyfriend behind.

"No eating or drinking tonight, Tony," Steve said from behind his sketchbook, eating out of a box of chinese food.

"Then why the hell did you order chinese? You know I love that shit. You're all just rubbing it in my face," Tony slumped against the back of the couch but didn't make a move to take any. Pepper made it clear that if he did anything to evade this operation, he would pay, and Pepper's threats are scarier than any villain they have ever faced.

"Oh oh oh! Can we please record you, Stark. Wait, who am I kidding, we are going to record no matter what you say," Clint was jumping with excitement, and grabbing his sides trying to control is fits of laughter. Tony narrowed his eyes at the archer, obviously coming up with plans for revenge. He scowled then got up.

"Where are you going?"

"To the shop, I have to get away from this scumbag," he pointed to Clint, who wasn't laughing as hard, but still giggling like a schoolgirl.

"That's not a good idea Tony, you should rest. You are having surgery tomorrow."

"Sorry, is your name Maria Stark? Huh? No. So stop trying to mother-hen me Rogers. I'm going wherever I want to. Come on JARVIS, open up." Tony was hitting the down button for the elevator, but it wouldn't open. "JARVIS?"

"Sorry Sir, but Ms. Potts has demanded you stay on this floor for the duration of the night."

"JARVIS, quick question. Did Ms. Potts program you? Because I don't think she did. So, I think you should open this damn door because if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here."

"Sir, you programmed me to look out for your best interests. I believe resting for your surgery tomorrow is the best course of action. I had the liberty of contacting the R&D department, and they have gladly taken over some of your more prioritized projects for Stark Industries."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, flipped off the ceiling, and flopped face first onto the couch. He grabbed a pillow and screamed into it while everyone shot him humorous looks.

"Why is the Man of Iron throwing a temper tantrum? I thought only humans of young age act like that," Thor gestured to the man on the couch.

"I am NOT throwing a tantrum. I'm just trying to understand why EVERYTHING in the universe is against me!"

"Tony, it's just your wisdom teeth. I got mine out when I was 16, I think you can handle it" Bruce stated from his spot on the recliner. Tony just groaned into the pillow again, not looking up. He stayed like that for a few minutes, and eventually fell asleep.

Tony's appointment was at 9 in the morning, and he was already dreading the events that were going to occur. He woke up, and went into the living room to mope some more. Clint came crashing in with a video recorder, obviously excited for the aftermath of the surgery.

"Alright Tony, you have to go," Pepper dangled a set of keys from her fingers and tossed them to Steve. Pepper had a mandatory meeting at Stark Industries, so she asked Steve if he could drive Tony there and back. Tony had a slight suspicion that she also asked Clint to record him after the surgery because she wouldn't be there, but he'd have to find that out later.

He got up and the group made there way down to the garage. Once they got there, Tony couldn't help but pout once again. The other three members of the team were gathered in front of the sole mini-van in the garage. "What the hell is this?" Tony gestured the rest of them.

"We are here for emotional support. Because we care about you," Bruce said, but he had to cover his mouth with his hand, obviously laughing.

"C'mon Bruce! I thought we were science bros," Tony climbed into the passenger seat of the mini-van as everyone else clambered into the back. The ride to the dentist was humorous for everyone but Tony, who was too pissed to feel anything else. Everyone was so excited for him to make a fool of himself, and it pissed him off.

Once they reached the office after what seemed like a lifetime, they all sat in the waiting room while Tony reluctantly checked in. They waited ten minutes before Tony was called in, and he didn't realize he was shaking.

"Hey, it's gonna be ok," Steve put his hand on Tony's knee. Tony nodded, and looked at Clint, who was waving the camera in his face, obviously gloating. Tony flipped him off as he made his way into the dreaded operation room.

Tony's eyelids were so heavy, and so were his limbs, and he couldn't feel his mouth but he could tell it was swollen. He woke up and saw big black circles that had to be camera lens, and he groaned… or he intended to. Everyone started laughing and he had no idea what he did but he must of done something.

Immediately after Tony woke up, the genius started laughing historically at what seemed to be his own hands, and Clint was falling out of the chair he was sitting in barely controlling his laughter. He lifted them up and wiggled his fingers, and apparently found them to be the funniest thing he has ever saw because he just wouldn't stop laughing.

"Ah! Wha' are- are theseeeee," Tony showed the group his fingers as he continued laughing.

"Tony, we-we can't understand you." Someone was grasping their sides, but he couldn't make out any facial features. Everyone was fuzzy.

"Why aree you fuzzzzzy…... O' ma gosh, you tooh my teeff! I need those ta talk! Thiss is all Hawkass's faulttt," Tony felt big drops of water on his cheeks.

"Why a ma eyes sweatingg?" One of the fuzzy figures wiped the water off of his face. He grabbed the figure's face with his hands and tried to make out features but couldn't.

"Oh my god, this is priceless!" Clint was filming Tony as he was holding Cap's face so close to his, as if he was looking into his soul. Tony was so high, and it was the best thing that has ever happened. Steve looked uncomfortable, obviously unsure what to do, but he let Stark stare at him. Tony eventually pulled away and laid back down in the dentist's chair. Tony once again became entranced with his hands, and continued to laugh at them.

The surgeon re-entered the room with some discharge paperwork, stating that Tony was in okay condition to go home. "He is going to be out of it for the rest of the day. We had to up his dose because he wasn't able to go under with the normal amount of gas we give other patients. Just some important things to keep in mind: he can't eat any hard, chewy food. Make sure he rests and that someone is always watching him-" Clint doubled over, "Don't worry doc, I don't think that'll be a problem…"

The surgeon coughed and continued, "Okay… I've prescribed him some pain meds which are going to be delivered directly to your tower, and make sure he takes them every five hours." Steve shook the surgeon's hand before he left, then turned to Tony, who was staring at the ceiling with a big, goofy smile plastered on his face.

"Okay Tones, let's get you out of here." There was a wheelchair in the corner that Bruce brought over. The soldier helped Tony out of the chair and into the wheelchair. He started wheeling Tony back out to the waiting room, where they had to check out. Steve's attention switched quickly from the receptionist to the billionaire after hearing the latter screech.

"AH!" Tony burst into tears and pointed at the fish tank, "They're drownin'! Someon help ma! Oh my, they're gonna diee! Bruthe, come come!" Bruce quickly kneeled in front of Tony, but before he could explain that they weren't drowning, Tony forgot about the fish. "Captain Amerifa? No futhing wayyyyyyy. Dadddio would be so haffffyyyy to see you! But… haha I said butt." Steve shook his head, finished signing the papers, and thanked the receptionist.

"They see my rollin' they hatin' patrollin' and tryn to cafth me riding dirtayyyy yo yo yo yo yoooo, WEEEE," Tony waved his arms like a maniac while everyone else was in tears laughing as they made their way to the car. Tony was absolutely going to kill every single one of them, but it'd be worth it. Thor picked Tony up bridal style to put him in the back seat of the van, so Clint could sit up front and film him easier.

"Woohh, big fella, I'm sorry ta break it ta youu, but I'm takennn by thiss hottiee namedd Pepper. LIKE THE SPICE HAHA GET IT! Ah, that's so funnyy- hey! Where th' futh is my tongue," Tony took his hands and tried to grab his tongue, but didn't quite have the coordination, so he kept grabbing his nose by accident. This led to him to poking his nose and making beeping noises. He burst into giggles.

The car ride was full of a lot more laughter than the first ride there, Tony was too out of it to realize what was going on. Tony's face was plastered to the window as he watched cars pass by. They were at a red light and Tony waved to the person in the car next to them. The van they were in had tinted windows, so the person didn't see Tony.

"How dare you! I am Tony mothafuthin' Starth, and I demand all of your attenshin! Heellooo!" He continued to wave frantically and Natasha had to grab his hands because she was afraid he was going to knock himself out.

They were close to the tower now, and there are many billboards advertising Avengers merchandise, so when Tony saw his face on one of the many billboards, he nearly flipped out. "Holy shitznith! Is that me?! Damn, I'm hawwtt," Tony's face was pressed up against the glass, obviously admiring himself. Clint's groan would be audible on the video when they play it back.

They pulled into the parking garage just below the tower, and Steve helped Tony out of the van. Happy was waiting for them with a wheelchair on hand with an amused smile on his face. "Hey boss, how're you doing?"

"YO HAPS, I'm so high and it is fantastith, I should do this more offen…LOOK," Tony showed Happy his hands and wiggled his fingers, thus triggering another laughing fit at which everyone else chuckled at.

"Okay Tony, have fun I guess," Happy turned from Stark to look at the rest of the group. "If you guys need anything, you know where to reach me." As Happy turned away from the group, they wheeled Tony into the elevator and pressed the button to go to the penthouse.

"Hey Tony, can you wave to the camera for me?" Clint tapped Tony on the shoulder and said billionaire showed the camera his wiggly fingers. Everyone watched as their residential billionaire watched the numbers in the elevator change.

"So once we get up to your floor, we're gonna put in a movie and you are just going to chill for the rest of the day. Understand? And before you even ask, no, you are not allowed to go to the workshop," Bruce laid his hand on Tony's shoulder and Tony glared at him.

"Bruthe! What the hell man! I miss Dum-E and U and bufferfingas and my suits and my scewdrifers and my welfer and my cars and my paperworth and the pencils and- wait, not the paperworth, the paperworth can go suck my dickkkk." Steve blushed at that, but wheeled Tony out when the elevator doors opened.

He wheeled Tony to the couch, where he helped transfer him to the couch. Thor got a blanket from Stark's bedroom and draped it over the energetic genius. Bruce went to the kitchen with the 'recovery' bag that the surgeon gave him. Inside was a couple painkillers, a toothbrush, and a hooked syringe so that they could easily flush his gums. The surgeon informed them that they needed to clean Tony's gums so they wouldn't get infected. As the surgeon was telling them, they knew that this wasn't going to be an easy task.

Bruce filled the syringe with salt water and grabbed a few paper towels. He walked back into the living room to see that Tony was struggling against the blankets because Thor wrapped him up as if he were a burrito, successfully keeping him in place. Clint had ceased filming, already having enough evidence to embarrass Tony, and everyone else was arguing about what movie to put in. They decided to watch _The Hunger Games,_ because Clint was in the mood to critique Katniss's archery skills.

"Before we start, I gotta flush Tony's gums," Bruce gestured to the syringe and made way towards Tony, who's eyes went wide.

"No no no no no, Bruthe c'mon don't you dare," Tony tried to move away but was unsuccessful, seeing as he was trapped in the blanket.

Bruce sighed and kneeled next to Tony, who turned his face away from the man. Everytime Bruce tried to get the syringe close to his mouth, Tony would just turn his face the other way, making it extremely difficult. "Tony, please. The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can watch the movie," Bruce pleaded. After a few minutes of continual head turning, Bruce turned to Steve for help. Steve went over and sat on the arm of the chair next to Tony's head.

Steve held Tony's head so he couldn't turn it, but Tony still refused to open his mouth. Then, as if on cue, the elevator door opened and out walked Pepper. She stared at the scene in front of her and sighed, "Oh, Tony…"

"Pepper, can you help us? He's being stubborn and we want to start the movie," Clint stated from his perch on the other couch. Pepper nodded and made her way to Tony, "Hey, can you open your mouth please?" Tony shook his head.

"Okay, your choice. But if you don't, your armor is off limits except for emergencies, but again your choice." Tony seemed to contemplate this, and slowly began to open his mouth. Tony looked as if someone shot him and refused to make eye contact with Pepper. Bruce silently thanked the CEO and stuck the syringe in Tony's mouth, flushing his stitches with the water. Tony squirmed underneath the covers, but didn't make any move to close his mouth.

After Bruce finished, Tony pouted and stared at the ceiling even though the movie started. Pepper emerged from the kitchen with two ice-packs and lifted Tony's shoulders off the couch so she could scoot behind him. She straddled him with her legs and placed the ice-packs on his cheeks, and she could hear him moan in a different kind of pleasure as he laid back against her, his head underneath her chin.

"I love ya Peps," he mumbled as clear is he could.

"Love you too," she pressed a kiss to the top of his head and watched the movie. She could feel him go more limp as he fell asleep. By the end of the movie, Tony was still asleep and Pepper did not dare to move, afraid of waking him up. Plus, he needed the sleep despite having undergone surgery. So, basically, she was trapped. She realized that after a day of board meetings, she was surprisingly tired, so it took about thirty seconds after closing her eyes to fall asleep.

Tony woke up to the smell of pancakes and he felt small fingers twirling his small curls. Now, this was the best way to wake up: freshly made pancakes and cuddling against the woman he loved. He sighed and tried to turn his head to look back at Pepper, but she lightly tapped his head, silently telling him to relax. Huh, they must've fell asleep on the couch. He burrowed deeper into the blankets but winced when he put pressure on his cheek. Pepper noticed this and magically pulled out an ice-pack and handed it to him. He sighed as the coldness seeped into his swollen gums, numbing the pain to a dull buzz. He felt Pepper chuckle as she continued to pet his hair.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty's awake!" Clint strolled in with a plate stacked high with pancakes. Tony made grabby hands at them but Clint clicked his tongue to the top of his mouth and shook his index finger at him. "Sorry bud, but you're limited food-wise. Don't worry though, we got some nice vanilla pudding for ya!"

Tony groaned but accepted the pudding, knowing that he wouldn't get far if he argued. He ate his pudding slowly while Pepper dug into her pancakes. She had to move him so she could eat, which elicited a sad squeak out of Tony.

"How are you feeling? You have to take your pills soon, and yes, don't think you're getting out of flushing your gums either," Pepper smiled at him as he slumped after hearing he'll have to encounter that dreaded syringe once again.

"I'm fine, just'ta little swollen still," he swallowed another spoonful of pudding, which was surprisingly delicious.

"Well, I'm glad. Do you still feel a little loopy?"

"Nah, I'm good. Oh god. Did Clint film me? Shit shit shit," Tony covered his eyes with his hands, already knowing the answer. He looked at Pepper for a quick second, desperately hoping that there was no video evidence of his foolishness anywhere. As if on cue, Clint came strolling in with the rest of the team behind him.

"Well, now that you're awake, we can watch these videos!"

"Fuck."

After the videos finished, everyone was in tears while Stark's face turned redder than any of them have ever seen before. He covered his face with a pillow and scowled into it. Pepper was the one who was laughing the most, and she would throw comments left and right making fun of her boyfriend, "Ahh! The fish are dro-" She couldn't even finish the sentence she was laughing so hard. At this point, everyone was laughing at Pepper.

"Oh wow, thanks Pep. I appreciate the concern…" Tony rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. Pepper actually snorted at him. Snorted! Steve was clutching his sides, and Clint's arm was around Natasha, as she was keeping him from falling off the couch.

Pepper got up from her spot across from Tony, still giggling, and she fell into his lap. She took his chin in her hand and looked him straight in the eyes. "You know that I love you with all my heart, right? But Tony, this is the best thing I have ever seen." She couldn't help the snort that came out of her mouth as she remembered one of Tony's antics. Tony stifled her laugh by kissing her, and she could feel him smile against her lips.

"Okay, okay. I admit it is kinda funny…" She kissed him again and flipped around so she was the one snuggling into his stomach. He wrapped his arms around her small figure.

It was silent for a few moments while everyone was catching their breath, then Clint piped up. "Anyone up for a second round?"

Everyone clapped as Tony groaned, hiding his face in Pepper's hair as the video started to play for a second time.


End file.
